Patched Fences
by withinthewords
Summary: Norah Johansson is the new girl at Degrassi, trying to find her way. But soon, she becomes intriguing to someone who is just now learning what lines are not to be crossed or even blurred.
1. Sick Little Games

During the past few years, I had come to feel much like a gypsy. Four schools, a new one each semester since I was a sophomore in high school. Now, here was a new one and in an entirely different place that I had ever been. I suppose the benefits of moving around was the second, third, and fourth chances to start over. If I made a mistake in one town, in one school, everything would be erased in a month or two.

But deep within myself I knew that I wanted something to really happen to me. Not necessarily a bad thing, just anything to make me not feel like I was just floating all the time, something to pull me to the ground and make me feel stable. I didn't know what that thing was, but I was sure by the time I had begun school, I would find out in some way or another.

The first day of my senior year began like any other, I suppose, and even though I'd been told that there was some sort of huge change when starting your last year of high school, I barely felt different. Maybe it was because I didn't know anyone yet and as I had no friends with me, there was no one to compare past experiences with. This made me feel strangely sad and alone.

In the past I had avoided making friends, at least relationships which I knew would last; so to keep myself from missing old friends, I developed friendships with the most shallow of people who I could find. In a week, they would forget about me, no matter how many parties I was invited to and no matter how much they told me we would forever be friends.

It was a faultless scheme, but only to a point. I, of course like anyone else, craved a solid friendship, a best friend to whom I could tell all my secrets, but with the way my life worked, it just never seemed possible without heartbreak.

I had kept myself from that so easily as well as I did without friends. The only dates or boyfriends I ever allowed myself to have were neither intelligent nor truly cared whether or not I was with them at all. It was just a formality, just a reason to say, "No, I'm not alone. See, I've got someone on my arm to call my own and that's all that matters." I wanted to be in love as well, I had to admit, but could never imagine stomaching the pain of breaking up when I yet again had to leave.

The difference that day from so many other times was that my parents had promised me we wouldn't move for at least until I was fully done with high school. At first, I hadn't believed them; they had told me the same thing before. But there was something about when they told me that I believed it more.

My dad had no reason to move again. His job, where it was stationed this time, was to be permanent at least for two more years. It wasn't like before when right after the job was finished, the company was off to find new clients and ventures. The economy here in Canada was more consistent than in Georgia, in the States. I wanted so badly to put my faith in that idea, to change my life for at least just a little while and not have to think about uprooting as soon as I'd found somewhere I liked. It would great to have a break from the aggravation of it all for a while.

"And your name is?"

The lady at the school's reception desk looked at me kindly. It seemed that Degrassi High was decent so far and so far I hadn't witnessed anything too unnerving. What I had witnessed in the hallway was typical, concerning both the institutional look and the cliques which roamed the halls. It wouldn't be long until I knew which group I belonged in. Teenagers were experts in putting you in your place, whether you agreed with their seemingly concrete decision or not.

"Norah Johansson, grade twelve," I responded. In a matter of minutes I had a schedule of classes, a map, and a few flyers in my hands. I smiled and thanked the woman, whose name was Mrs. Reese, and then walked out the door.

The phrase 'den of lions' suddenly popped into my mind once I left the comfort of the small office, but oddly enough, no one looked at me even though I was new. There was no automatic rude looks and turned up noses at the new girl. For this I was completely thankful.

I pulled out my schedule and began studying it as I sat down on a bench in the hallway. The first class wouldn't begin for another fifteen minutes, so I had time to relax.

Suddenly, as I was sitting there and keeping completely to myself, I felt a pair of eyes on me. It's amazing how an action so small can have such a large effect, even if you aren't aware of it or expecting it. When I looked up, I was surprised at who I saw walking by.

I half-expected someone to be staring right at my face for all the force that seemed to be coming from the eyes which had chosen to glue themselves to me. But instead, it was a subtle gaze but with power. The eyes belonged to a boy, nearly a man. Those eyes were blue with a tint of green and alarmingly inviting, almost intoxicating so that I couldn't look away.

He held my gaze for what seemed like an eternity, but did not take a second to slow down his graceful walk down the hallway. Right before the staring contest with the very attractive stranger became almost absurdly too long, he moved in his path and walked over to where I sat. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, unsure of what he would do next. If just his looking at me made me freeze where I stood, what would it be like if he came closer or even spoke to me? I began to feel dizzy when he came within a foot of me.

"I would ask if you're new here, but that would make me look stupid and we don't want that," he said in a voice that made my spine tingle. Never in my life had someone made me react like he did.

"Yeah, I guess that would be a stupid question. I'm Norah Johansson," I said and put out my hand for him to shake. The gesture was stiff and formal, but I needed something to keep myself composed. If being odd was what I took, then I would do it.

He looked at me curiously and I could feel his eyes on me, they lingered a little too long at my legs and what could be seen of my backside from where I sat. He was absolutely shameless, dangerous even. I wasn't sure if I should like the guy or be afraid of him.

"Your name is really…nice, Norah. I'm Declan Coyne," he told me and finally did shake my hand before I began to feel ridiculous.

When he spoke, he said 'nice' but it would have been more appropriate for him to say something much more lewd for the tone of voice he used. And when he said my name, I felt as though he was practically violating me with that one word. Then, even when he shook my hand he held on to my fingers a little longer than was necessary. The encounter was no longer exciting, soon, it became prudent for me to get up and leave before anything else was said.

"Nice to meet you, Declan," I began politely, but now desperately wanted to get away. "Well, looks like I need to get to class. See you around."

I wanted to see him around as much as I wanted a hole in the head. In the past, I didn't mind mysterious guys or even ones who had the tendency to flatter with words just a little too much, but he was different and I felt that I reacted completely different than I had. His way was with looks and actions. I didn't like it and it felt wrong. But the worst part hadn't even come yet.

Once I walked away from the bench, I took one last quick backward glance. He just began to get up as well, but stayed there for a moment. I could sense that he was still watching me. The slight smirk on his face sent a wave of shivers all over me. That was unnerving enough, but when I saw a girl, who, from a distance seemed very pretty, put her arm around his waist and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, I nearly lost my cool.

There was nothing I could abide less than a cheater, or at the very least, someone who had a girlfriend but continued to flirt with other girls, especially ones he hadn't known but for just a few seconds. What made me sick about it was the possibility that in this new place, where I just might end up staying permanently, something had already happened to compromise what could possibly be a good reputation.

I needed nothing to taint what people thought about me. Now was when I needed and wanted friends, but if someone saw that and then told the girl, it was very possible that people would automatically write me off as someone who had her lines blurred when I clearly didn't. I was the last person to cause someone to cheat or to ruin a relationship.

As I walked to my first class, I tried to clear my head of everything that had just transpired. Truthfully, I was making a mountain out of a molehill in my mind without the consideration that there was actually no one at all in the hallway during the time I sat on the bench and when Declan came there as well. I really had nothing to worry about. I could go about my day as if it was just as new as it had begun.

With quickness and lightness in my walk, I made my way to my first class. Honors History was my destination. Thankfully, it was one of my best subjects, other than Literature, and so I knew I would be in for a relatively easy time, at least for my first day. But what I saw when I walked to the doorstep made every hope crash and burn.

Right there in the middle of the classroom sat Declan Coyne. I hadn't taken into account that we would have the same classes and were possibly even in the same grade. With a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, I went up to the teacher, put on a fake smile, and told him my name. He showed me where I was to be sitting, where unfortunately I was positioned diagonally to the left and behind Declan.

When I sat down, just as I fully expected but dreaded, he turned towards me slightly and shot me a small, knowing grin. I gave him a tiny smile back and attempted to ignore him through the rest of the class, but that proved to be impossible when he handed me a note.

Frustrated, I crumpled it in my hand, but not completely crushing it. Without reading the note, I sunk into my seat and wondered if that this was the way the school year began, how would it continue and what things would be in store for me.


	2. You've Made Us Conscious

As soon as my History class let out, I rushed for the door. The entire hour Declan kept subtly passing me notes, never showing even a hint of the act to the Ms. Gartner. Eventually, I broke down and read a few of them, which were mostly pleads for me to answer and tell him why I just sort of ran off. I knew he might have deserved an explanation, but I just didn't feel like giving one.

"Hey!"

I heard a voice I didn't recognize from behind me. Afraid that my mind might just be playing tricks on me and it really was Declan, I turned around slowly, dreading whose face I might see. Instead, it was a girl with a silver nose ring and darkly lined eyes. I stopped a she tried to catch up with me.

"Hi," I replied warily, not sure why she was coming up to me. Maybe she had seen the encounter in the hallway this morning I just hadn't seen her. My stomach sunk in fear.

"Are you alright? You seemed a little flustered in class." The girl looked at me with true concern. I suppose I probably did look like something was wrong even though I attempted to seem calm.

"Yeah, it's just my first day, even though you most likely know that. I'm Norah." Once again, I gave my formal introduction, but thankfully, this time there was no risk of the same sort of happening which occurred earlier in the morning.

"Jane. It's good to meet you," she answered and shook my hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything, before I mean, I was just curious because I've seen that face before."

I shook my head and slightly gasped incredulously. Maybe I wasn't as safe as I thought.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked. In my effort to seem calm and casual, my question came out with an incriminating stutter. I could feel heat flaring up my neck and to my cheeks.

"It's a guy, right?" she asked with a smile. Relief flooded me for a moment as at least she might not know who it was.

"Uh, yeah," I said and laughed weakly. "You know, boys. They'll get you every time."

"I know, right? My boyfriend, Spinner, he…we've had our problems, but still, I can't help but get butterflies every time I see him," Jane gushed. It made me sad that I couldn't relate. I'd never had a boyfriend who I actually and truly wanted to be with. Before, it had all been for show, just because.

"You must be really lucky to have him."

"Like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm sure you've had tons of guys after you. Obviously you do, otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Seriously? You're kidding."

Jane looked at me with such wonder. I suppose it _was _strange for a girl my age to not have been in love at least once.

"No, I mean, I've had boyfriends, but I've never really liked any of them. Just unlucky in love, I guess."

"Well, since you're new here and I'm guessing don't have any friends yet, I'm assigning myself to you as friend and matchmaker."

"You really sure you want to do that? After all, I could be a terrible friend," I teased, but wondered if Jane was the exception or the rule when it came to the niceness of Degrassi High students.

"We'll see, but so far you seem like a decent person and you've got more common sense than most girls in this school. You're practically the only one who's not boy crazy."

"Is that right?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't let her down as time went on.

"Yeah, seriously. That's all anyone here ever thinks about is who they're going to date or get in bed with by the weekend. Thank goodness for someone else like me. Now I won't feel so alone," she told me with a laugh. "But we do need to get you a boyfriend, someone who can keep you grounded."

"Who did you have in mind?" I asked curiously.

"Well," she began. "There's a few guys in the band I'm in and then a couple besides, but there's so many who already have a boyfriend so it's pretty slim in choices. But outside of school there's tons of boys, for sure. You should come to one our shows sometime and maybe I can score you a date."

"You're in a band? That's awesome. What do you do?"

"Lead vocals. It used to be Peter's job, but things happened. Are you into music?"

"So much, yeah. I'm such a music junkie. Actually, I've been trying for years to land a place in a band," I told her, excited that we had truly found some common ground.

"Seriously? What do you do? Maybe I or one of my band mates could hook you up with guys," she said looking interested.

"I sing, too. And yeah, that would be great. Any other time I've always been told it wouldn't work because I'm a girl and apparently rock and roll is a man's world."

"Dude, don't I know it. I can't tell you how many times I've been heckled at our shows because I'm a girl. So, are you any good?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess. I've been told I'm really good, but I guess I'd just have to get more people to tell me that before I believed it."

"I think you would be. You seem like the sort of person who's truly dedicated to their craft. Oh, hey, we need to get to class. The bell's about to ring."

I followed where Jane led me down the hallway and then pointed towards a door that led to the auditorium. In there were many students either sitting around or walking around messing with props. Apparently, it was Drama class. I hadn't remembered what was next on my schedule, so I just had to trust my new friend had memorized it.

"Okay, let's go, let's go!"

The Drama teacher stood in front of all of us as we sat down on the stage and on the ground. I took a perch near Jane and put my bag beside me. As soon as everyone had settled and were for the most part quiet, she began to instruct us once again.

"Alright, you might expect to get off easy today since it's your first day, but I'm here to inform you that's not the case. A large part of you are seniors and the rest should be ready to get to work without complaint."

Of course everyone began to grumble, but oddly enough I was comforted by having a teacher who really knew what she was doing and was unapologetic about her frankness.

"Just in case you were wondering, she's always like this."

A voice that I fully recognized came from my right. Suddenly, I felt sick, but knew I should have expected it. If Jane was in almost all my classes why wouldn't he be?

"Really?" I said softly, keeping my eyes focused straight in front of me and trying to ignore the fact that Declan being close was electrifying.

I desperately wished that no one noticed my reaction. Out of the corner of my eye I searched for his girlfriend, but even if I did, I might not even recognize her since it was only for about a split second that I saw her face and from a distance. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I sensed that Jane was watching the exchange between Declan Coyne and I. I was mortified. Now, she just had to know that he was the guy she was unconsciously talking about earlier. Or maybe it was only obvious to me.

"Yeah, but it seems like not all of us are predictable. Why did you run away this morning? I was just trying to be friendly…Norah," he whispered, once again saying my name in such a way that sent shivers down to my toes.

I didn't dare turn my head to face him. Though I still looked straight ahead – most likely looked like a freak who was talking to herself – I could feel his eyes watching me, searching my face and beyond. If I did turn to see his eyes, I just might not be able to pull myself way.

"I didn't run away, okay? But even if I did, I had good reason. Maybe you're just a little too friendly for a guy with a girlfriend," I said softly, but with a fierceness in my voice. I wanted to let him know just how offended I was.

He paused for a few moments before answering. In my peripheral vision, I saw him roll his eyes, then trained them straight ahead just as I did. Finally, he got the hint that I didn't want to appear as though I had contact with him.

"How do you know that I have a girlfriend?"

Suddenly, I was at a loss for words. So maybe I had been wrong. But I couldn't have been. The girl I saw was clearly his girlfriend, otherwise, she wouldn't have kissed him and he wouldn't have walked away with her with his arm around her.

"Uh, I saw you with here? I have eyes, you know."

"Ah, so you were watching me." I could practically hear him smirk.

"Yes, obviously because I simply saw that you clearly have a girlfriend makes me your new stalker. I could say the same thing about you when I walked away. You stared me down like I was —"

"Ms. Johansson? Do you have something you'd like to say?"

When Mrs. Grayson called attention to me, the entire class jerked around to see who I was. Caught off guard as I was, there was one thing I'd learned from going to so many schools and that was a little flattery goes a long way.

"Just that I'm really excited to be here. Degrassi has a lovely auditorium, way better than any other school I've been to."

Mrs. Grayson smiled genuinely. "Well, thank you for the compliment, but please, from now on let's pay complete attention, okay? And…welcome to Degrassi. We're very glad to have you here," she told me in a kind voice.

For the rest of class, we did mirroring exercises and I was successful in warding off Declan. Though the time when he tried to get me to be his partner was avoided, the same couldn't be said for when Jane and I were doing our exercises.

"So, Norah" she began as I followed where she put up her right hand. "Who were you talking to?"

I felt stupid for even thinking about trying to cover up who it was, but it was nearly an instinct with me.

"Um, Declan, I think?" I said, trying to seem nonchalant. It probably wasn't working as well as I hoped.

She looked directly in my eyes.

"I'm surprised he's talking to you, I mean, Declan's usually sort of snobby around new people unless they can do something for him. But I guess you could be the exception. He does have a weakness for hot girls, after all."

I scoffed incredulously. "Uh, yeah, thanks, but I'm not hot. Like, at all. But…he just talked to me in the hallway this morning, almost as soon as I got here. Maybe he's nicer than he used to be?" I offered, secretly hoping for some inside information on him. At least if I knew more about him I might be able to keep the ball in my court for a while.

"Okay, if you think so, you're so lying to yourself, but whatever. But about him, just watch out. Even though he's got a girlfriend, he has a tendency to still be a little too friendly when he shouldn't," she warned.

_So, he does have a girlfriend_, I thought silently.

"Good to know. I guess that's one guy to check off the list."

She laughed. "What list?"

"You know, the 'Potential Guys' list. We've all got one, even if it's only mental."

"Ah, I get it. So, who else is on there so far?" Jane asked.

"Honestly, no one yet. I guess you've got to help me with that."

"Sure, I will. Just give me a little time. Right now, I just want to get senior year started off right."

"I know the feeling. It's nice to know there's only just a few months ahead."

By the time class ended, I began to feel more at ease. The only thing which compromised that were the every-so-often, yet noticeable feeling of Declan's eyes on me. He'd made a point to stay in the part of the room from where he could see me, but remain undetected. Only once did I make eye contact with him for a very brief second and when I did, it was a rush I couldn't deny.

The guilt ate at me for the rest of the day for the fact that I knew he had a girlfriend, Jane had warned me against being near him, and still, somehow I was alert each time he passed by or looked my way. I wished their was someone who, like in old movies, would throw a bucket of cold water on my head and maybe it would deaden my nerves enough to absolutely ignore him.

But I realized that no matter how hard I tried, it would still be a matter of his ignoring me that would keep anything from happening. As long as he insisted on keeping in contact with me, even as subtle as his methods seemed, nothing would change. And that's when I knew I would have to do something about it. I would have to speak to him and sever all ties, no matter what the cost.


	3. Risky Business

Two weeks passed without much consequence. My classes got increasingly easier to handle and as I knew more people, I didn't feel so out of place. Jane, of course, had become something of a best friend, a thing I had never been able to claim before, but now it felt so right. She and I were so similar that nothing could be more natural.

As well as that, I'd gotten into a full routine which was easy to follow. In the mornings before classes began, I met with Jane's friends Sav, Danny, Peter, and sometimes her boyfriend, Spinner, when he had the chance. There were a few other people who decided to pop in, but that was mostly the core group of people I stuck with. It was also the first time I'd ever really been friends with so many guys at once. I think the biggest area of middle ground among us all was our music tastes being so close in nature. Our favorite bands varied, but the genre basically remained the same.

During classes, I'd gained a couple of friends, or what I'd probably just call acquaintances. We spoke in class and in the hallway, but not much else. And of course, there was Declan.

In the past few weeks, he had succeeded in passing me exactly thirty-one notes during the four classes we had together, with only one reply from me which wasn't polite or lengthy in the least. He had slowly backed off in that aspect, but other attempts continued in their vigor.

But even if he hadn't continued, I still wouldn't have felt any better and I wouldn't have been any less disappointed in myself. Even after all this time and all the chances I was given, I still hadn't said anything to him to help cease our contact other than what was absolutely necessary. But finally, in Theatre class on a Thursday, it all came to a head and I had my catalyst for action.

It all began just as it usually did. Us students would sit around in a half circle, wait for instruction from Mrs. Grayson, and then either choose a partner or be in a group. That day, it was partners. It didn't take me but just a few seconds to know that the inevitable was about to happen since Jane had gone home sick that day.

He walked over to me as casually as anything. I both cringed and smiled. I mentally slapped myself for still feeling even slightly thrilled that he was coming over to where I stood. But I couldn't help myself. My stomach did twenty somersaults by the time he crossed the room.

"Where's your partner?" he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and didn't look straight at him when I replied. It was the only way I knew to keep my feelings at a minimum.

"She's sick. So, I guess I need to find someone else," I said and gave him a slight but bitter grin. When I began to try to walk past, he moved directly in front of me.

"As you can clearly see, everyone's already paired up. We're the only two left."

My eyes closed in aggravation.

"Oh, how convenient," I said, disdainfully knowing what he said was true.

Everyone _did_ have a partner already. I was stuck. And with him.

"Okay, then if we're going to be partners, you have to agree to hear me out for once before we begin our exercise," I told him sternly, looking directly into his eyes to get my point across.

To my great pleasure, he backed up and seemed surprised that I spoke to him in such a way. Maybe for once he would give me the respect I deserved and everything would turn around.

"Alright, I'm listening."

Declan sat on the ground and crossed his legs, then patted the spot beside him for me to join him. With a deep, sharp breath, I placed myself on the floor, but kept a careful distance from him.

My efforts were in vain though; as soon as I got settled, he moved so that our knees were nearly touching. I hated how my hands tingled at the thought of him coming nearer to me. But I wouldn't let it stop me. I had to get my point across so then maybe this would never have to happen again.

"Okay. We don't know each other that well, but that's okay, it's not important."

"Why not?"

"Are you going to let me speak or not? Otherwise you can take a zero for the day and it wouldn't bother me a bit."

He shrugged and nodded for me to continue. With a large sigh, I gathered my thoughts once again.

"I think it's pretty obvious that I don't want to talk to you," I explained. "I also think it's very obvious that you don't quite understand that. The first time we met, you were way friendlier than you should have been and I don't think I have to explain that. It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have a girlfriend, but since you do, it's the worst thing you could do."

"So, if I didn't have a girlfriend, would you still be offended?"

"That's two, Declan. I can stand to be interrupted," I told him through my teeth.

"Sorry," he said quickly and made the motion of zipping his lips.

"Even if you didn't have a girlfriend, like I was saying before, there's nothing I hate more than a guy who thinks he's entitled to any girl he sees. But what I can't believe more is that because you are with a girl, you are still attempting to flirt and speak with me like it doesn't matter. If you care about her at all, you'll stop."

"Can I speak now…please, Norah?"

I nodded and pursed my lips, waiting impatiently for him to say whatever he so felt the need to get out.

Before he spoke, Declan repositioned himself so that he was directly to my right. It seemed we had begun our usual conversation. Like not facing each other made anything less noticeable.

"The thing is, me and Holly J. aren't really serious right now. We're just sort of figuring out if we think it's worth being together for real or not."

"And so you're willing to throw away whatever sort of chance you have with the girl because you have some sort of infatuation with me?"

"I'm not saying that, but—"

"Does it make it right for you to play with my heart, too?"

He seemed taken aback.

"I thought you didn't care about me that way," he rebutted, bringing the ball back into his court.

"I'm not saying that I do," I said, which was only half truth. "All I'm saying is that I don't want to be involved in this sort of thing. I didn't ask for this and I'm not going to just sit by and let it happen."

"Norah, if you don't want to be involved with me, all you have to do is say so."

I rolled my eyes and began to get up, but then he pulled me right back down to where I was sitting. The pressure of his fingers on the skin between my knuckles caused the breath in my chest to catch.

Once again, I felt myself to be under a sort of spell when I gave in and looked into his eyes. As soon as I sat where I was before, his scent became strong – a musky, clean, manly scent with a hint of soap and expensive cologne. It filled my head and made me dizzy.

Gathering my jumbled thoughts, I attempted to explain myself for the last time.

"Declan, I don't know how much clearer I can make what I've been trying to tell you for the past few weeks. I don't want to be with you and you don't need to keep trying to be with me. Can't you see that?"

"Can't you see that your words trampled by your actions? When I do this…" he paused and ran two fingers along the underside of my wrist, all the way to my elbow. When he stopped and let his hand rest there, he looked up at me with smiling eyes.

"Can you honestly say that you don't feel anything at all?"

I nearly gulped at his directness. He still held my arm lightly in his left hand.

"I can't do this anymore," I said and scooted away from him.

I wanted to erase the past few moments because I knew in the most secret part of my mind that everything he said was true. No matter how many times I could have said I didn't feel anything for him, my feelings would trump them savagely.

As he did before and as I guessed he would continue to do, Declan moved over to where I did. I glanced around the room to see if anyone had witnessed what was happening, but they were all so caught up in their work. In the back of my mind there was the biting urge that we needed to get our assignment finished.

"Norah, I think we can make this work," he said as he tried to take my hand.

My eyes went wide with disgust and I jerked my arm away.

"How can you possibly even contemplate that? Do you realize what you're saying, Declan?"

"I'm saying that this sort of chemistry is just too strong to ignore, to waste. When I'm around you…all I want is for you to want me, too. Don't lie and say that you don't."

"Come with me," I whispered fiercely and then pulled him along to a dark, back hallway which connected to the Theatre room.

He looked surprised at my forcefulness, but I couldn't have anyone else hear what I needed to say to him. I was sick of having to watch out for eavesdroppers. God knows high school is the worst possible place to try to keep something on the down low.

As soon as we had reached a place which had light, but was safe enough I stopped and leaned against the wall, figuring out exactly what I wanted to tell him. But no sooner did I open my mouth to speak did he do what I should have expected. I then realized that he completely twisted around my intention for privacy into his own advantageous reason.

"I never took you for a sneaky one, Johansson, but I'm definitely not offended."

Slowly, but quickly all the same, he cupped my face in his right hand and placed his left on the small of my back. Before I could react, his lips made contact with mine.

It wasn't so much what he did that took me by surprise, but how he did it. If anything like that was ever meant to happen to me, I expected it to be rough and uncomfortable and that I would instantly want to push away. But instead, Declan made me feel as though I was enveloped in a plush blanket. My head was screaming for me to backhand him across the cheek, but my heart told me to slow down and enjoy the moment and the way his mouth moved lightly and warmly against mine.

But by the time I realized how wrong it all was it was too late to say that I had no part in what happened. I kissed back; I knew I did and I couldn't deny that. Though it was entirely irrational, I pushed him away and began to get angry. I suppose I was just trying to convince myself that he was the one entirely at fault.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, my face going crimson in the dark.

His hands stayed where they were at my waist. Unfortunately, it only made it that much harder to think straight. Declan looked at me strangely.

"What do you mean?" he asked as if he was clueless as to what had just happened in the past few moments.

"I didn't come down here to make out with you. I wanted to finally convince you to stop pursuing me, Declan!"

"Then why did you kiss me back? You could have stopped me, you know," he said quietly with a smirk.

"I didn't kiss you back. Maybe you just thought I did because you're too selfish to notice anything that's not going on in your own head."

I was confused as to what my next move might be. Running away wasn't an option, I realized, as most everyone would assume something wasn't right. Staying would only increase the chance of never making my point and unconsciously giving Declan further permission to do what he wanted. Trying to explain myself again would only leave everything messier than it already was because I knew he wouldn't listen. I was at a total loss at what the solution was.

My mind was all in a tangle. By now, I was sure, everyone in class who might have seen he and I leave the room probably suspected exactly what we were doing. And now, he was fully aware that I had feelings for him that couldn't be erased so easily. If only we'd stayed in the Theatre room, I thought.

"You did and you know it. Why can't you just accept that you're as mad about me as I am about you? It can be our secret."

"I don't want a secret, Declan. I just want to get through my senior year without drama or having someone's girlfriend want to kill me."

"How is she going to know?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe because everyone in the Drama department saw us walking out and into a dark hallway. What could be more obvious? And seriously, I don't even know why I'm still talking to you. I should have just ignored you completely and nothing would have come of this."

"But you wanted something to come out of it, otherwise you wouldn't have brought me here."

I scoffed loudly with incredulousness.

"Once again, I didn't bring you here so that you could feel me up, or I you. Will I ever be able to get you to see what I'm trying to say? Will you ever just give up?"

I nearly wanted to scream, but I didn't want anyone to realize where we were. From the outside the situation looked just as scandalous as it really was.

"You know, I really don't think you want me to give up, Norah. I think you crave the excitement of this sort of thing, just like I do. It shows in your face. And for what it's worth, I'm going to give you three options."

"You. _You_ are going to give _me_ options about this. Okay," I said, feeling I was just about ready to break Declan's jaw instead of listening to whatever absurd thing he had to offer as a compromise.

"Just listen a second," he said and leaned against his side of the wall, for once being polite and giving me my space.

"Number One, we let this thing flesh out and keep it a secret just between us. Number Two—"

"How could a second option possibly be better than the first?" I asked impatiently. Now, he was truly beginning to get on my nerves.

"You had your chance to speak and now here's mine. Let's be adults, okay?"

"Go ahead."

"Alright. Second option, I leave you alone. We never have to discuss this ever again, but I can't guarantee that I'll keep quiet about it to everyone else."

My eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Are you…are you blackmailing me? I can't believe this."

He shook his head and came closer to me. I pressed myself against the wall to have more space between us. He soon realized my action and backed off once more.

"Not blackmail, but do consider your reputation in all this. Okay, and finally three…" he paused and again came closer to me. This time, there was nowhere for me to run. I simply had to face his words head on.

"If you'll admit that you have feelings for me, I'll break up with Holly J. right this minute and no one has to be hurt."

I shook my head quickly and shut my eyes.

"Are you seriously trying to tell me that you like me enough, a girl you don't know from Eve, to break up with your girlfriend whom you've probably known forever and who is probably just now learning to trust you?"

"Basically, yes. But think about it, Norah. You're not just any girl. No one has ever made me feel like you do. Even Holly J."

How quickly things were changing made my head swim. None of the options were good, but the third was the only one that involved any sort of honesty at all. I felt sick.

"God, Declan. You didn't have to do this. You could have left everything alone, but you had to go and bring everything to this point," I complained, pulling my hand down over my face in deep thought and frustration.

"Just…give me a few days okay, or at least until Saturday. I'll give you an answer by then, but please for the love of all that is holy don't say anything to anyone. You swear?"

He smiled, obviously pleased with himself at the power he now held. I wanted to smack him across his smug face.

"I swear," he whispered and held out his pinky finger. As soon as I linked mine with his, I walked out of the hallway and back towards the Theatre room. But before I left, I mouthed to him to wait for five minutes until after I left to go back in. He nodded to show he understood and I hoped with all that was within me that he did.

I also hoped that pinky swear really meant something to him. Otherwise, I just might have to give up any hope of a good semester.


	4. His Girl Friday

Walking into school on that Friday morning was, I felt at the moment, quite possibly, the most nerve wracking thing I had ever been made to do. The decision I was forced to make weighed heavily on my mind even after I had made it clear to myself. All there was left to do was to get through the next few hours without getting sick. Even still, I felt the urge to run to the bathroom whenever I thought about what I was going to face, feeling nauseous.

"Hey, Norah, wait up!"

As I turned around, I saw Peter slowly jogging my way. I smiled in relief of seeing a friendly face for at least a little while. Even if I couldn't tell him, or anyone else, about what was going on, it would be something to distract me.

"You want to try catching your breath?" I teased.

"Here," he said and handed me a sheet of neon green paper from his book bag as he did what I suggested.

"What's this?"

"Just read it."

The paper, which was a flyer, nearly blinded me as it was so bright. The dark lettering, which described an audition of sorts, toned down the striking color. In my confusion, I finally registered what the paper was saying. Excitedly, I read the details once more.

"This is great," I told him, remembering Jane's promise to get me in touch with some musicians after finding out my musical tendencies. "How did you find out about this?"

"Well," he explained while we walked down the hall, his mouth turned up into a grin. "Ever since I opened 'Above The Dot', there's been local bands dying to play there and get promoted, so I thought why not have a wall for posters? So, I saw this one and remembered what Jane had mentioned one day at practice."

"Thank you. I'll definitely check this out."

Though the prospect lifted my spirits, I still couldn't shake the worry that flooded me. I could only hope that I wouldn't have to say anything to Peter or that he would even notice at all.

No such luck.

A few more steps down the hall and we made it to a bench and sat down. I could feel his eyes searching my face, but not at all in the same way another certain person usually did so.

"Are you okay? I thought you'd be psyched about this." Concern was apparent in his voice.

I nodded and smiled to the best of my ability.

"Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind." My answer was honest, but not the truth. I wish I could have just spilled it all right then. I might have felt better.

"Want to lighten your load?"

His smile was warm and inviting. I could no longer resist. I had to let a little of my frustration out, if only as cryptic as was possible. I then turned to face Peter and rested my elbow on the back of the bench, attempting to relax.

"Um," I began brilliantly. "I sort of need advice for a friend."

"Alright, I'm listening."

Was I seriously considering doing the whole metaphorical friend routine? I inwardly laughed at how ridiculous I felt, but knew it might be the only thing that could give me a bit of peace.

Thankfully, Peter sat there attentively and his interest was not at all sarcastic or contrived. How I wished I could have Jane to talk to. I supposed he would have to do as a substitute.

"So, this friend of mine -- you wouldn't know her, she lives in the States – sort of met this guy. The problem is not only does he have a girlfriend, but he's promising to dump said girlfriend for her and she has no idea what to do. I'm just wondering…what you would do in that situation. If you were my friend I mean?"

I was surprised at how I was able to keep the façade going so fluidly. Maybe I would get my much needed advice after all and without a hitch.

Peter titled his head in thought, and then repositioned himself on the bench. I glanced at the clock while he gathered his answer together. Only five minutes left until class. I suddenly felt sick.

"If it was me," he began, then paused. "If I was your friend, I would make sure I really knew the guy first because after all, he could just be looking to get some and wouldn't dump his current girlfriend anyway."

"But for instance," I added cautiously. "What if the guy really swore that he cared about her and that their relationship wouldn't be hidden anymore?"

"Well, you know the old saying 'actions speak louder than words' ?"

"Sure."

"I would tell your friend to make the guy show her he's really being serious and to wait until he actually dumps the other girl before she makes any sort of move. She'll be better off in the end."

"Huh. Sounds like you have some experience in this area," I teased as I took in his advice. It was actually really true and good.

Peter blushed ever so slightly. I couldn't help but to let a little laugh escape my lips.

"Nah, not really. I'm just good at avoiding broken hearts. Well, sometimes."

I sensed a little pain in his expression. I'd heard some things about his past girlfriends and such, but no real specifics.

The morning bell rang and I took a deep, but shaky breath. Peter's advice for what 'my friend' should do put a whole new light on what might happen within the next class period.

"See you at lunch?" We both rose from the bench and began to join the growing sea of students which filled the hallway. I nodded and turned to the right as Peter went left.

The time that I spent waiting in the classroom was pure torture. I needed to get this over with and fast. It felt like an eternity until I saw a head of purposely messy reddish-brown hair enter into the room. Declan threw a conspicuous grin in my direction once he came nearer to his desk.

"Good news or bad news?" he whispered after setting his bag down.

I rolled my eyes, hoping he would notice.

"Depends," I vaguely answered.

"Well, that does help me much. Want to elaborate, Johansson?"

While ignoring Declan's jibes, I wrote a hasty and messy note which included instructions for what he needed to do. Within the note he would find that he should wait for at least two minutes after I left the classroom until he could follow me. I wanted no one to suspect we were meeting up, no sort of attention drawn. The last thing I needed was more complications.

When the bell finally rang, I breathed a sigh of relief. The entire class time, for me, was filled with juggling the work that Ms. Gartner handed out, finishing the note, and miraculously getting it to Declan with no one noticing. As soon as I could, I grabbed my bag and made a beeline for the door. My escape, of course, was not left unnoted by Declan who gave me a wink before I fled.

In a matter of minutes I reached the hallway which was now infamous in my mind. There was still a shiver in the pit of my abdomen when I thought about Declan kissing me. I supposed the fact that it wrong added to the thrill of it all. I was new to this sort of thing, sneaking around. Guiltily I found that I secretly wanted more. As I leaned against the exact spot where I had the day before, it was almost like reliving it. And soon enough, the last thing to complete the scene it walked calmly down the hallway to where I was.

I envied how cool and collected Declan Coyne could be and then here was I, sweating bullets, knowing that even the slight possibility of this getting out was detrimental to my future here. Even my friends, especially Jane, just might write me off if it did.

"Listen," I began. "I know that you have your opinion on how this thing should go, but I have one too and it just might work."

He nodded and with a gesture of his hand, let me know I wasn't walking on egg shells and that I could proceed.

"From what you said, I think that the best thing for everyone with the least about of casualties is for us to be out in the open about this…_eventually_."

Declan cocked an eyebrow and donned a grin before my stressing on the condition of what would happen. Then, he just looked like a little kid whose toy was snatched from him. I smiled to myself. The ball was back in my court.

"So…" He walked closer to my side of the hallway. I wished harder than ever that he wasn't going to touch me. I just might lose all control that I currently had if he did so. I hated that he had such an effect on me.

"You're saying that we need to wait? Until when?" he asked softly. His voice, for once, was neither conniving nor upbraiding. Concern flooded his countenance and I couldn't stop from feeling as though he were genuine in his efforts.

I shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure, but…just as long as it takes you to be single again," I said warily, not sure how he might take my plan.

He nodded, taking in everything. "So as soon as I'm free, I'm yours?" The brilliant smile he flashed nearly stunned me into silence. I gave a slightly duller smile back.

"Not exactly," I explained carefully but quickly as I glanced at my watch, noticing there was only three minutes left. "I'm suggesting that for you to show me you really, truly mean that you care about me that once you break up with Holly J. – which you're going to do in the kindest way possible – we wait for at the least two weeks before doing anything public. If you're willing to wait, then I'll know I can trust your motives."

I searched his face for any sort of doubt. Surprisingly, I found none. Maybe everything would work out after all.

"I am willing to wait, honest," he said and put a hand to my cheek. The skin there seemed to come alive under his touch. "And I'll do everything possible to break it to Holly J. as gently, take her to a nice place and everything."

In my happiness that things were going according to plan, there was also a vein of guilt which ran through. As I stood there, I realized that I might be the cause of a broken heart of a girl I didn't really even know. But I also told myself that it was possible it might not make a difference to her; because really, if what Declan told me was true, they weren't even serious. I wanted so badly to believe that.

"When?" I inquired

"Tomorrow night, I promise. Tonight is tryouts for the play so I don't think I should try to double up on plans if I want to do this properly."

I nodded my head and gave his idea a good once over, but there were still more things to be concerned about other than time.

"Alright, but what are you going to tell her, what's your reason for breaking up?"

A slight wince fell like a shadow over his face. I suppose he hadn't thought that far.

"Well, I guess I could stick to the old 'it's not you, it's me', but that would only make her suspicious…"

"Right."

"Saying that I don't want a girlfriend right now would be a lie, even though it's not like it would be the first time. So…I guess I'll just have to come up with some lame excuse, like I'm not good enough for her or something. You got any better ideas?"

The hand which once held my cheek now held some of my hair which fell well below my shoulders. Declan twisted it between his fingers as if it were completely fascinating. Somehow, to me, the small action was as charming as anything, but tastefully intimate. Each moment I spent near him allowed me to find the little things, like this, more wonderful than the more noticeable gestures. I could see myself falling for him completely so easy.

"I think that you should be completely honest with her. Tell her that you're interested in someone else and that you wanted to end things the right way before anything progressed," I offered.

We both smiled on the point that things had already gone farther than they were supposed to. I suddenly felt different, no longer afraid, but instead rather calm and somewhat empowered. My guilt slowly dissolved into excitement. It still resided in my mind, but was now on the backburner. I could little by little allow myself to enjoy what was happening right in front of me. The most handsome guy I'd ever met wanted _me_ and I could finally let that fact sink in.

"Sounds perfect," he mused.

No sooner did Declan begin to unexpectedly lean forward as to bring his mouth close to mine did the minute bell's sound reverberate through the narrow hallway. I started at the sound as did he. We laughed at how easily we had lost track of the time. I gave him a motion with my hand to wait a moment before leaving, just as the day before, and then flashed a smile once I walked into the main walkway towards the Theatre room.

The rest of that day I spent the hours with a free mind and a heart which now secretly belonged to Declan Coyne. It wasn't until later on that I would realize the consequences of my actions were far more than I ever would have expected.

* * *

**It's a little early in the game to be screaming 'writer's block!', but I would deeply appreciate a few more reviews just to see what everyone's thinking. I've got ideas as to where I should go with the story, but a little more direction and criticism would be nice. Many thanks.**


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